No More Wondering "What If?"

I jumped into this new school experience thinking that I would make friends right away and that I'd know the majority of the people in my classes.

I was beyond wrong.

I'm a rather shy person and I usually won't initiate a conversation. I'll try to keep it up, but I also tend to be the reason for them to fade out because I think that I talked too much or that the other person isn't interested.

Even on my anonymous blog, I have a few dedicated readers that leave lovely comments and I'm more than grateful for it and I keep myself updated with their blogs, I read them on a regular basis, but even then I don't want to comment in case it's confusing, read in the wrong way or it's unclear. I type out a comment that I find is really nice and has no problem with it whatsoever, but I work myself up to believing that it's wrong in a way and I end up erasing it.

If I can't even comment on blogs owned by the sweetest people ever, then I'm defiantly not outgoing enough to have friends yet.

I've talked to people, been introduced and have introduced myself, but nothing is set in stone yet.

I'm still nervous to go to school, I still don't really know anyone or can go up to someone and start a conversation so I find myself alone the majority of the mornings before school.

Being in band class is helping me out quite a bit because I can spend lunch in the band room and that's helping me meet people with common interests.

But seeing as today is Sunday and it was a beautiful weekend day, I went to the beach and relaxed.

I went with my parents, my godparents and cousin in-law (my poor cousin had to work in perfect beach weather) to a beach and I really enjoyed the time.

I took a nice, long walk on the beach, went in for a swim and what I thought was tanning turned out to be a major burn once I got home, but the beach was still enjoyable.

My cousin in-law is really sweet and she was asking me how the transition was for me and she was telling me a few of her high school stories and her story of when she changed schools in the middle of high school.

I was really interested in her stories and I found myself relating to how she felt when she went through it more and more.

She told me advice that I've heard so many times before but didn't take seriously until now.

Don't hold back.

She told me all the things she regretted not doing and how you don't really think about it and regret it until later in life.

I guess it's the fact that it was personal to her and that she had a hint of sadness in her voice for not doing everything she told me about that made me realize that I should expand my horizons a bit.

I've decided that I'm going to try out for my school's baseball team.

It's nothing much, but it's a start.

I don't want to regret anything from my school years, I'd rather do it and say "Why on earth did I think that that was a good idea?" than always wonder "What if?"

I'm going to make this school worth something for me and you guys shouldn't be afraid to do the same.


One More Girl, no longer online.